How to get out this box im in ?

Stop trying so hard. Obviously you're trying so hard that you've become socially awkward which is a BAD thing. Everyone can sense that you do not fit in. OK, you need to change that. This is what you need to do. You need to focus on a celebrity that you really admire and try to act like they would act (they have coaches and they've got it down) and since you cannot see yourself through your own eyes it's easy to pretend you're them. Be them. Get through one evening as someone else and be cool! You will definitely be noticed, admired or at least remembered and invited back or to another party. Whatever you do, don't be needy! That will always work against you! Everyone can sense that and will automatically reject you. It's just the way it is. Confidence is key my friend!